


Its For the Best!

by U_Changed_My_Life



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, robron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/U_Changed_My_Life/pseuds/U_Changed_My_Life
Summary: A Robron fic that completely ignores canon! Pure escapism :)Robron always need a few practice runs before they figure out what works for them and get it right. This was true during their affair era and when they were dating each other. They have been married twice already but they are still trying to figure out the true meaning of marriage... what messed up forever truly means.Robert is in prison trying to let go. Aaron is in the village trying to move on. Its for the best...or is it?!
Relationships: Aaron Dingle & Liv Flaherty & Robert Sugden, Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. The First Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

> The only thing that has kept me going these last few months are the amazing fic writers - some of whom I have read and thankfully I have hundreds more to read. I am eternally grateful to all the writers here to take the time to keep the Robron legacy alive and who, honstly understand Robron better than professional writers. I am not a writer. I just have strong feelings about Robron, who they are as individuals and as a couple. So I am writing to express those feelings...my understanding of Robron, especially what Aaron would have done if he was allowed to be Aaron. Hopefully it makes sense.

It was Aaron's birthday.

Robert had done everything so far to stop himself from calling Aaron and it was still only 6pm.

He had started the day by wishing Aaron's photo Happy Birthday kissing it a zillion times tearfully whispering over and over again how much he loved him and how sorry he was for everything.

Just as he was starting to get his wits about him, the sight of toast in the cafeteria had set him off again & Robert silently seethed that he couldn't even cry over his broken marriage in peace. The snide comment from a rather infamous inmate couldn't have come at a worse time and soon he found himself in a cursing match that earned him an enemy inside the cells & a stern warning from the on duty guard. Not that he cared.

The real problem was it was only still the afternoon and he still had most of the day (nevermind the rest of his life) to get through, without Aaron.  
Time had slowed down since Robert arrived in the prison. But today, the clock was taunting him before it bothered to move even a single minute. Robert was desperate, he felt like a caged animal.

Christmas & New Year were hard enough. But Aaron would be surrounded by family & maybe even some friends ( he really didn't want to think about it)...but Aaron wouldn't be alone, he had reasoned with himself. So Robert had allowed himself to join in the prison festivities though the sight of Christmas jumpers had set him off.

But today, Aaron's birthday was his day. It was the one day in the year that belonged to Robert. No matter how hard Aaron tried to guess or how much the Dingles tried to out-do him, Robert had always managed to come out on top with "the best birthday surprise ever" for his Aaron. He was the only one who could make Aaron's eyes sparkle & extract uninhibited squeals of laughter that made Robert's heart feel like it would burst out of his chest.

He missed Aaron so much. He missed being there for Aaron. He missed being told off by Aaron....he missed....he missed everything. The last time they were apart Robert had forced himself to let Aaron go because that is what was best for him. So why was it so much harder this time around? Maybe because he had promised to never let this happen again & maybe because he needed to know that Aaron was okay.

Was Aaron okay? What if he was not? No, surely, Chas & Liv would figure it out, wouldn't they? Yes, they would. They had to. Robert couldn't think like that. He had to be strong. For Aaron. This was for the best.

Well that thought lasted for about all of 15 minutes until the niggle about wanting to know how Aaron was doing caught hold again. So Robert decided to distract himself by writing to Aaron. This was his favourite guilty pleasure.

Robert was practical that way. His survival instincts were strong. He always did what he had to & never let his feelings get in the way, that is, until Aaron. Through most of the day he willed himself to keep his head down & "make the best" of what IoW had to offer. But every so often he would write to Aaron about whatever was on his mind. His notebook was full of anecdotes, innuendos, shared jokes and love. He used to get so lost in them for a couple of hours that it would take him some time to come back to reality.

But today, even the letter wasn't working. He just had to hear Aaron's voice. Nothing else would do. He knew it. So when 6pm came, as if on autopilot Robert found himself stood in the line for a call. It was a longish queue and until the very last second Robert was second guessing himself. But when his turn came he dialled the number. This was the best option. He would call the scrapyard & being a Sunday evening, he could listen to Aaron voice on the voicemail greeting. And since Aaron never bothered much with his messages any way, this was his best hope of calling undetected.

Robert eagerly waited for the call to go to voicemail already bracing for impact. Except, after a few rings there was click & a distracted & irritated "hello". Robert's heart stopped and he almost dropped the receiver.

TBC


	2. Pocket Dial! (Aaron's Reaction)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's call jolts Aaron from his thoughts. Even in a million years, Aaron wouldn't have guessed that this is how their first conversation in months would pan out.

Aaron had come to the portacabin for some peace and quiet….well….mainly to escape the looks of pity and attempts of the Dingle clan to cheer him up. He wasn’t a kid in need of cheering up! He was a grown man with a husband in jail and without access to his son. He was heartbroken and needed time to figure out what to do next! He couldn’t just turn everything on and off on command!

Life was getting unbearable. It was just one thing after another. As if a prison sentence of 14 years, the Isle of Wight & his idiot husband’s attempts at “setting him free” weren’t enough, now he had to deal with Wendy & Luke playing happy families with Vic. Needless to say his little display of emotions & efforts to sort things out himself earlier hadn’t gone down well. 

His Mum and Paddy were in their own little bubble with their new life. Not that Aaron blamed them. They deserved all the happiness in the world. 

Everyone was worried, concerned, unhappy, terrified…. basically annoying. Oh! And even Ross wanted in on the action. He convinced Rebecca that in his state Seb wasn’t safe with Aaron. And no amount of begging or pleading from him or Liv would have the “ideal parents” change their minds. After that even Liv had given up. She was there for Aaron, quietly, but was avoiding him most of the time. It’s like she didn’t know what to do with his brother. It was always Robert she turned to for help in times like this. And now that wasn’t an option anymore. Part of her was also worried for herself. She didn’t want to go back to her dark place of drinking & lying to cope while trying to rescue her elder brother. Aaron didn’t want that for his little sister either. And in any case, Aaron was a lost cause without HIM.

HIM….. ROBERT FU*K*NG SUGDEN….for five years, since the day Aaron met him, he has been playing on Aaron’s mind like a song on a loop. Nothing he does or what others say about him have managed to change that. And Aaron had tried. Hard. He had tried to not think about him, to hate him, to just be friends with him, to move away from him….no matter what Aaron did, it was always about HIM. Finally, Aaron had given up. Not because he couldn’t get Robert out of his mind. But because he didn’t want to stop thinking about him. Simple as. Aaron loved Robert. He wanted to be with Robert, even when he was being an Idiot. Actually, when Robert went off his rails & did something stupid, Aaron wanted to protect him even more. He couldn’t understand how Vic & Diane managed to blame him for everything! When Aaron saw him like that, he just wanted to wrap his arms around his husband & keep him safe. And that’s pretty much what Aaron did all those times when Robert woke up screaming in the middle of the night….And now he was in jail, alone and Aaron hadn’t even heard from him, except for that letter to Vic which didn’t even mention him…..

It was at this moment that the phone had rung piercing through the silence of the scrapyard on a cold winter evening. The noise was both eerie and startling. Like in a thriller, when a single call is going to be life changing. Jolted from his thoughts, Aaron walked over and picked up the receiver. An automated voice announced the call from prison. So, Robert had added this office phone number to his PIN. Did this mean he was in contact with Jimmy and Nicola all this time? Why didn’t they tell him?

Aaron had a dozen questions racing through his mind, his heart rate was soaring at the thought of hearing his husband’s voice after months and at the same time he could feel stabbing pain of the fact that Robert had cut off all contacts with him, just like that. As he waited to be connected, the few seconds seemed like ages. Barely managing to hold it together, Aaron grunted his trademark ‘hello’ that during office hours had managed to put off many clients and which his husband always teased him about!  
Aaron had been waiting for this moment since November. The moment when Robert would finally call and they would talk. After all, that was the promise they had made to each other when they got back together. The promise that was perhaps even more sacred than their wedding vows. “We keep talking yeah…we work it out, together”. “No more hurting each other”. Even though he could probably guess, Aaron wanted to hear what Robert had to say. And he wanted to tell Robert, how he felt. He wanted to talk with his husband. Though he wasn’t really thinking about it in the moment, but it would be the best birthday gift Aaron could for. Once again, Robert would have ‘won’ Aaron’s birthday by managing to give his husband exactly what he wanted. It would be ‘their victory’….against all the naysayers, including Mum and Paddy. 

And ….

All Aaron got was “pocket dial” [click][disconnect] silence………  
……  
……  
Pocket dial?!!! POCKET DIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?!!!! 

Aaron was seething!

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "People don't stay with me"  
> "People don't forgive me"  
> This story is about Robert and Aaron overcoming their worst fears and daring to build a life together in spite of all odds. 
> 
> During their time apart last time, Robert realized that he wanted Aaron and no one else. That, they were the real deal! Aaron has, in the past, tried to move on from Robert and in canon, continues to do so. 
> 
> This fic is about Aaron coming to terms with the fact that Robert is it for him. It is about Aaron finally listening to his heart instead of all those voices that surround him. This story is about Aaron moving forward in life. It is about Aaron realizing what makes him happy and making a go of it. This story is about Aaron't choice- that no one can take from him. Not even Robert. 
> 
> And what about Robert? He is a survivor. Robert knows too well how to lead the dual life- be the arrogant chancer to people around him and nurse his wounds when no one is watching. His jail term is his penance for all those times that he has been responsible for ruining lives....Katie, Chrissie, Lawrence, Bex....there are many ghosts that prey on his mind, his sanity. The hardships of prison are no match for the torture his brain inflicts on his conscience. He doesn't deserve Aaron and not being with the love of his life is the punishment Robert has given himself for being him. Can Aaron convince Robert to forgive himself and allow himself to be loved and cherished? How will he reach his husband when Robert won't acknowledge his existence in his letters to his sister?


	3. Pocket Dial! (Robert's Reaction)

Pocket dial?!!! POCKET DIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?!!!! 

Robert squeezed his eyes shut tight and held his head in hands wishing more than anything that he could turn back time while his mind played ‘pocket dial’ on a loop. Of all the things he could have said to Aaron when Robert heard his voice, this was the worst….well definitely bottom three! Even Seb would have come up with something better!   
Seb…the little monster…wonder how he was doing?! He must be a big boy now! Wonder if he remembers his Daddy! For a few minutes Robert’s heart filled with a warm glow and joy as he relived those precious moments of Seb chuckling in his seat as Robert made funny faces at him. They would pass hours like that, completely losing track of time until Aaron came home and joined in. Pretty soon it would turn into a friendly competition of who could make Seb laugh the hardest. Aaron was a natural. Seb’s eyes always lit up when he saw Aaron, something he learnt from his father no doubt. Robert would watch them transfixed with a dopey grin on his face until he remembered that he was in this stupid competition as well! Robert would try all sorts of tricks to get back in the game and win his son’s attention. He would sing Seb’s favourite songs, try to bribe him with puddings for breakfast and promise him all of Robert’s old toys. Of course none of this made any sense to the little porridge monster who was giggling away at Aaron’s peek-a-boo. But Robert was convinced that his son had a sweet tooth like him and they both shared a love of “nerdy stuff”, as Aaron called it. Well, convinced was a strong word. ‘Hope’ was more like it! With Seb growing up at Bex and Ross’ and his son’s natural bond with Aaron (which he loved by the way), Robert had hoped him and his son could bond over donuts and Dr Who. And it was never too early to start. This is why, he often found himself crouching down in front of Seb’s seat, totally engrossed in explaining the brilliance of a TARDIS while his not-yet-two-year-old son stared at his animated Dad, totally transfixed. Then, suddenly, as he was about to get to the really good part, Robert would feel a warm hug and a gentle kiss on this head. Totally knowing what to expect, he would look up and see Aaron smiling at both of them, his deep blue eyes full of love and a twinkle that said he was going to get teased about this later. Robert had never felt happier. This was it. Any more and his chest would burst with joy. This was all he ever wanted. He was home.

“pocket dial”

Robert groaned. 

Just like that, Robert was back to reality, his horror. Sitting on his cot, alone in that cold dark cell, he thought his nightmare would never end! Why did he have to call? He had survived all these months not giving in to his craving of listening to Aaron’s voice. Why couldn’t he just distract himself by picking a fight with one of the many geriatric inmates or wind up the guard so that he could end up in solitary for a few days. That is what Robert did. It worked like a charm. Every single time. He would be in solitary without any access to the outside world. His nightmares would return. His father’s ghost would deride him constantly for destroying anything he touches. He was never good enough for Aaron. Andy’s tears, Katie’s hate, Lawrence’s filthy lust, Chrissie’s heartbreak, Lachlan’s death cold stare, Lee’s mocking, Vic’s disappointed eyes, and Bex’s accusations would all taunt him at once convincing him that 14 years was nothing compared to what he deserved. He didn’t deserve to be happy and most of all he didn’t deserve Aaron. He had messed up every time Aaron gave him a chance and if he pursued Aaron any more, his Christmas dream would come true. Aaron, his one true love, would perish. By the time Robert would be released from solitary, he would be too terrified to speak to any one, let alone pick up the phone and call Aaron. It would take him a few days just to pick up the courage to write to Aaron in his diary even. Then, eventually, one day something funny would happen at the cafeteria or Robert would get one over the guard and he would absolutely need to tell Aaron about it. So he would get back to his diary and start writing. Soon Robert would be lost in his little world where he would tell Aaron everything and imagine how his husband would respond. This was Robert’s guilty pleasure. The one bit of happiness that he deemed was harmless and that kept alive the one part of him that was truly him….the part that only Aaron knew about. 

“pocket dial” 

Grrrrrrr…….

Why?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did he have to call?!! What on earth made him say pocket dial?!

To be honest, Robert knew why. 

Back in the day, after they had just gotten back together, Robert and Aaron had spent hours talking. Wrapped in each other’s arms, they had talked about pretty much everything under the Sun. Secretly, both couldn’t wait to get back from work and quickly their household chores. Once dinner was over, Seb was in bed and they had checked on Liv, Robert and Aaron would go into their room and talk. For their age, it sounded a bit sad, but Robert and Aaron had done the hot and heavy. In fact, their whole affair was like that. Now they craved for much more. 

All through their affair and as boyfriends, both had an instinctive understanding of the other’s unspoken needs. They just knew it and didn’t even question it. But the last few months had taught them that unspoken wasn’t always good. Unspoken didn’t drive away insecurities. And unspoken meant that their true feelings were left unsaid. So, in true Robert and Aaron had developed the habit of long, soft conversations at night in bed. And course, the fact this ritual was sacred to both of them was left unsaid!   
Their room was their safe space. Once naked under their duvet, all wrapped up in each other, the shields would finally come off. In those moments, they could share anything with each other…things that they didn’t even dare to say out loud to themselves in daylight. They could be soppy romantic or consumed with lust, share their worst fears or giggle like teenagers at their most devious schemes… nothing was off limits and there was no filter. The next morning, the banter, the jabs, the chores and the family drama would take over. And it would be back to Robert the shrewd businessman and Aaron the grumpy mechanic/ Holey Scrap owner. These were just garbs they donned for the world to get through their day until they could get back to their safe space and be themselves again. Their family, only the brave ones, teased them about being joined at the hip! Both groaned at the implication. But the family didn’t know that Robert and Aaron were not just husbands and business partners. They were best friends and soulmates…in every sense of the word. They were themselves when they were together and who doesn’t crave that every second of every day! 

It was during one of these conversations that Aaron had told him about “pocket dial” or more accurately, what he had felt, the moment he heard Robert’s voice. As Robert pulled him a little closer to his bare chest, a teary-eyed Aaron recounted how he had blurted out those words while the rest of his body froze with the weight of his realization on that fateful Valentine’s Day. That conversation shook both of them because they realized neither had stopped loving or craving their relationship and that messed up forever weren’t just words. It was their life. In that moment, indescribably the two felt one. They made love many times over that night and it had been the most incredible experience. They fit into each other like they were one, the ecstasy they felt from filling each other was one they had never known before and the gentle, languid kisses swept away their pain of separation once and for all. It was left unspoken as usual, but both were shook after that night. It was something that they had never experienced before. The bond, the love, the closeness, the peace, the happiness…..both would have been at a loss to describe the feeling but they were perfectly content basking in its warm glow. We were finally one. They were home. 

After that night, pocket dial became code. Nobody suggested it, nobody acknowledged it…as usual it was left unsaid. But whenever they would argue or get in a fight or when things would get difficult, one of them would ‘inadvertently’ call and say, “pocket dial”.   
Robert and Aaron didn’t do mushy, certainly not during their waking hours outside the house! So, pocket dial was perfect phrase to let the other know that enough was enough, this fight was starting to hurt, and it was time for a truce and a kiss. Pocket dial was SOS for, “I am not emotionally evolved enough to admit my mistake, but you know, and I know. So stop whatever you are doing and come home because I love you, I miss you and I need you right now to hold me and tell me that we are going to be okay because without you my life doesn’t make any sense”. 

And as part of this unwritten, unspoken game, the ‘other’ one would drop everything that they were doing, rush home or wherever and then pretend to casually walk in with an excuse like needing a receipt, checking on Seb, passing on a message from Vic (as if smart phones didn’t exist!). It was lame. But it worked for them.   
Passionate kisses, warm embraces, soppy I love yous were for their nights under their duvets or lazy evenings on the couch. Pocket dial, stolen kisses, bro hugs, quickies in the barn, scrapyard or the pavilion and shoulder rubs were codes to get through the day without risking wolf whistles from village or making them both feel like they were getting ‘soft’. They had a few more steps to go before they could admit to the world that they were a soppy, domesticated married couple who wanted a whole football team for kids and that their idea of bliss was lazy evenings on the couch, cuddling and watching their kids grow up.  
“pocket dial” 

Robert groaned again! His head was still in his hands and he was mortified. 

“Pocket dial” may have been a fun, silly game to kiss and make up when their fight was about who leaving dirty dishes in the sink or his thirty quid shower gel. But Robert wasn’t sure “pocket dial” would cut it now, when it was about him cutting of all ties from his husband and sending him divorce papers out of the blue. And he would have been right.   
TBC


End file.
